Did you know that South Park: Bigger, Longer, & Uncut will turn 15 this summer?
Yeah, it’s been that long since one of the pioneers in adult animation launched their first feature film into theaters. The film was a hit from the opening weekend, even with people upset at the filthy language and mature themes.
But South Park is no stranger to controversy over the years. Besides, it is made perfectly clear before every episode of the hit Comedy Central program that it is intended for mature audiences, not children.
You’d think the films R-rating would be enough warning to deter children from the theater. Otherwise, what’s the point of a rating system anyway?
I had never seen Duck Dynasty prior to this episode. I honestly had barely even heard about it until a few months ago. Then, suddenly, this show was all over the place. Duck Dynasty stars getting politicians elected. Duck Dynasty was getting great ratings. Then it was Duck Dynasty star makes homophobic statements. The it was Duck Dynasty ratings drop dramatically.
The latest news story from Duck Dynasty? Evidently the Robertson’s company, Duck Commander, is sponsoring the Independence Bowl.
With so much news about one little TV program, I felt I had to give it a try. So here’s my Quick Looks at Duck Dynasty.
The shooter clone is patching herself up in a bathroom. She’s using homemade stitches and rubber gloves, despite making a giant mess with her blood. She keeps muttering to herself, “I’m not Beth.”
A boy walks slowly into the bathroom after following the trail of blood. She sees him and tells him to come inside. She shh’s him before closing the door.
Meanwhile, Sarah pays Alison an unexpected visit. She tells Alison about the shooter clone. Alison, who is naturally protective, becomes even more paranoid that the clone may have followed Sarah to her house.
Sarah admits that she was going to take the $75,000 and run, but she couldn’t leave with this unfinished. She tells Alison about Kira. Alison wants to know if Kira is adopted like her kids, or if she’s Sarah’s biological child.
Kira is Sarah’s biological child. This is a big deal to Alison. Sarah doesn’t care. Right now, she just needs Alison to be available. Alison can do that.
It’s game on for the artists following Damon’s dismissal without even opening a tattoo shop. Kyle tries to tell the artists how difficult the journey through this competition will be, but they dismiss him as a know-it-all.
You would think the new guys would want to learn as much as possible from Kyle before sending him to the curb, but that doesn’t seem to be the case. Whatever happened to “knowledge is power?”
Freddy is going through his morning routine. He’s getting dressed, working out, decompressing his spine, and walking to his restaurant. He appears to be popular in the community where he lives.
When he arrives at his BBQ joint, he finds a copy of the newspaper running the sordid details of Claire’s affair with Adam. Freddy doesn’t take the time to read that rubbish. He rips the paper into pieces, setting them ablaze.
Freddy then meets with the franchise representative. The rep promises Freddy $95k just to sign the papers, even if they never build a single franchise. The rep then shows Freddy the blueprints of the first Freddy’s BBQ location planned for Silver Springs.
The mockup looks rundown and rustic, with pealed linoleum. Freddy thinks it looks dingy and unprofessional. The rep claims it’s meant to look authentic. Freddy believes it’s meant to let white people feel like they’re slumming while staying in the suburbs.
The rep promises that nothing will be built without Freddy’s approval. It’s enough for Freddy to sign the paperwork to complete the franchise deal.
Remy isn’t done digging into the lives of Francis and Claire. This time, he’s taking matters into his own hands by paying an unexpected visit to Evelyn, Claire’s old office manager at the CWI.
Evelyn is having a hard time making ends meet since being fired from the CWI. She’s currently working two jobs and still doesn’t have the money for luxuries like Starbucks Coffee. Remy believes Claire made a mistake in letting Evelyn go. He offers her a position at his lobbying firm. Evelyn doesn’t believe she has what it takes.
Remy confides in Evelyn that he, too, had a falling out with Claire. He jokes about Claire only being faithful to Francis.
Evelyn suggests even that might not be true. Remy’s ears perk up at the mere suggestion.
Hannah learns that her Grandmother Flo is dying from a fever and a broken leg. Hannah is told to come to the hospital immediately to see Flo before the end comes. Hannah initially doesn’t want to go, but she gives in after a little cajoling.
Adam wants to go with Hannah, but he can’t leave the city. The first week of rehearsals is taking place for the play. Hannah understands.
Adam tells Hannah that he’ll miss her while she’s gone. She claims Adam will have too much fun hanging out with his new theater buddies. Adam says his theater buddies won’t let him make out with them or have sex. Hannah giggles in Adam’s arms.
Duncan is looking for some help getting to know Britta. He asks Jeff to help him out.
Jeff suggests that Duncan pick up one of the hippie newspapers, pick a cause from the pages, and then use it as a way to connect with Britta.
During their group meeting, Jeff asks if anyone has plans for Friday night. Duncan says he has plans to go to a benefit for starving children with cleft pallets. Everyone except for Abed and Jeff wants to attend. Abed has plans to go to the new Kickpuncher film dressed as classic Kickpuncher.
Jeff claims to have dinner plans, but the gang guilt trips him into attending.
As the midterm election near, PAC ads attacking Walker and the Democratic House leadership begin hitting the airwaves nationwide. These ads are part of a $25 million ad buy from a Super PAC, funded almost entirely by a single, anonymous donor.
The Democrats are unable to match that type of funding in the post-Citizens United era.
Francis wants to find the source of those funds and to cut them off. Linda is working on a messaging campaign, trying to get all of the Democratic leadership on the same page with the same talking points.
The meeting ends without a clear solution to the problem.
It’s time for another Kevin Smith film. Find a place more comfortable than the backseat of a Volkswagen, be wary of stink palms, and hope someone doesn’t bust into your dressing room twice in one day.
Today, we’re looking at the 1995 film Mallrats.